i had a roommate who's parents would not let her come home. she didn't know how to sweep a floor (think cinderella in the cartoon just pushin dirt around), she tried to go to bed and turn off the lights at 9pm and expect me to be quiet. VLC.

The girl I was rooming with wasn't too bad except for the fact that she did drugs in the room so I couldn't sleep or study. She always had friends over, they stole my camera and took money from my other roommates. She eventually got evicted. VLC.

I work at Chili's and I'm a host. A guy in a motorized wheelchair come in. I greeted him with our "Welcome to Chili's." However, on his way out I said what I say to everyone. "Good night. Drive safe." He drove here on his wheelchair. VLC.

hello VLC.

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my bosses office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him he had a new message. VLC.

The other day I said goodbye to roommate and left for class, but as I was leaving my dorm I realised I left my textbook behind so I ran back to get it. I barged back into the room, only to find my roommate in mid-wank, going for it hammer and tongs on my bed! And to make things worse, he was holding a photo of my little brother!!! I just stood there and started laughing hysterically. We still laugh about that story everyday. VLC.

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. VLC.

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. VLC.

Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. VLC.

Today, 3 days before my wedding day, I found out that my fiance is sleeping with one of my bridesmaids. I just cancelled a $200,000 wedding. I would go into more detail, but I have to help my family (who flew in from Poland, California, and Massachusetts) book flights back home. FML VLC.

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML VLC.

Today, I told my mom about my night terrors in which I am laying in a ditch with people shooting at me, and I have no ammunition to defend myself. She told me I should stop being such a whiny bitch, and to grow up and be a man. I am 20 and got back from Iraq 10 months ago. FML VLC.

Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly ressembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML VLC.