Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. VLC.

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my bosses office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him he had a new message. VLC.

hello VLC.

gnfgfgnfn VLC.

The other day I said goodbye to roommate and left for class, but as I was leaving my dorm I realised I left my textbook behind so I ran back to get it. I barged back into the room, only to find my roommate in mid-wank, going for it hammer and tongs on my bed! And to make things worse, he was holding a photo of my little brother!!! I just stood there and started laughing hysterically. We still laugh about that story everyday. VLC.

I was a junior in college, and I was at my friends house relaxing, drinking beer and watching some sports. It was a Friday and we had some fun plans for the night. Both of our girlfriends were to meet us at a house party at 10:00. Fast forward, its 10:45 and my friends GF is nowhere to be seen. He was drunk at this point and decided to call her (for the 10th time) and talk to her. She finally picked up. I was right next to him and I could hear her breathing REALLY HEAVY over the phone. Well, my friend thought he caught her IN THE ACT cheating on him. He cursed her out for a good 5 minutes and broke up with her over the phone. It turns out she was having an asthma attack, and could barely breath… She broke up with him the next morning. VLC.

I got drunk on a Tuesday night for my roommates birthday. I decided Wednesday morning it was better to go to class extremely hungover then to miss it completely since attendance is a large part of our grade. In the long run it would've been much better for me to skip the class. I awake to my class laughing and my teacher shaking me. Apparently I passed out on my desk and was making sex noises. I got a 0 for participation that day which I would’ve gotten if I'd have skipped the class anyways. VLC.

It was finals week and I was cramming for a following days exam. I fell asleep late into the night with my face still in the books. I slept through the alarm clock, and my exam. VLC.

It was finals week and I had been studying like crazy all day. I desperately needed a break to keep me sane, so my lights went down as the music volume rose up. I was dancing to some music when this girl who I had the hots for came by unexpectedly and barged into my room while I was in the middle of a fairly advanced dance move. I was embarrassed, and she was laughing hysterically. VLC.

wow, great news...my roomate sophomore year in college is not gay...VLC VLC.

best morning after apartmentmate conversation ever: "Oh no, no, no- I didn't bring a boy home last night.......................... I brought home two" VLC (-: VLC.

My roommate was seeing this girl I didn’t care for much. She was rude, arrogant, and all around snotty; she acted as if she was better then everyone else. Well, a bunch of the guys and my roommate got drunk when the b**** came over. My roommate decided that was a good time to dump her (finally). She beat him to it and dumped him in front of everyone; saying he was a lousy boyfriend and she could do better (yeah right). I thought this was the funniest thing ever and laughed super hard and loud. She turned around, punched me in the nose; breaking it, and left. I was too dumbfounded to do anything. I’m 6 ft 2 and 250 lbs and had my nose broken by a 5 ft 3 100 lb b****. VLC.

I was trying to hook up with this sorority girl for over a month. After a week of being sweet and charming, convincing her how wonderful I am, she finally said she’d come to a party at my house. Around 2 am the party was finally winding down, and she was spending the night. Unfortunately, I was obscenely drunk and while we were going at it doggie style, I passed out mid thrust. When I woke up, I had the worst case of blue balls ever, and a note from her saying “no wonder girls won’t sleep with you.” Her whole sorority now knows my name. VLC.